Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
