I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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