Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
