did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
