he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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