Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
my liver is dry heaving
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
