So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
