I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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