I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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