the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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