i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You can't motorboat a personality
he puts the penis in happiness.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
