dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
accomplished twins. life is a go
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
