shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
