Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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