Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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