I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
