I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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