I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
