my sisters under your porch take her home
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
