we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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