Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
