If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
