3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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