dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
