Betty ford says i'm here all night
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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