Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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