Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
