Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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