I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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