did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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