its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
