He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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