you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
