remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
