how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
birth control should be required to get into college
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
