She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
