just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
