I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
