I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
