there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just cropdusted the office
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
