I'm eating all of the evidence.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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