Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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