I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
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