i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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