I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
