I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
This toilet bowl is my home.
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