I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
