Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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