He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
