I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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