i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
