totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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